‘Wishing  won’t make it so’

In my dream universe, I am famous. In fact, there are a lot of universes floating around that contain different, more dynamic, brilliant versions of me. I’ve been a best-selling novelist, entrepreneur, a distinguished aristocrat; just to name a few. There I am much better version of myself. Witty and confident, I always think of the perfect response to people . But then there is our universe, the one we live in! In this universe I am socially placed at a comfortable position, but its pale in comparison. There, I am living for myself, my goals and my fantasies. Also, in my fantasies, I don’t fail.

I’ve always been a chronic daydreamer. I spent most of my time reading or imagining other worlds in which I was a princess, a genie or a sorceress. In school, I used to participate in music, drama etc. I loved dancing. All my family can vouch for it. I still do. I had always felt special, like I was meant to make a huge impact on the world, thanks to my parents who made me feel so all throughout my growing years. I thought that I was destined to become something big. But here’s the thing—I still wasn’t willing to do any hard work. As I grew older and became a mother of two, my fantasies evolved into more reality-based scenarios of my household, that my house is perfect or my job is a dream job. But I was much too afraid to take the risks involved in actually doing what I was dreaming up.  I never ventured far from my comfort zone, but I still fantasized…a lot.

I wasn’t exactly lazy. Well, maybe I was, a little bit. I had the unrealistic expectation of just being discovered by some magical mentor who would guide me to success. But that someday kept drifting further and further out of the horizon. My fantasies were still quite satisfying, except when I would see someone else actually succeed at one of my dreams in real life. I would read an amazing write up, or see a well kept home, or someone with well cultivated hobby and think, ‘wow, I could had done that!’. Sometimes I would fume with jealousy. I would get inspired for a bit, but soon the daydreaming followed, and I continued to enjoy unlimited success in my own mind.

It took twelve long years for me to finally learn the few simple truths that would break my cycle of imagining things.  All my life, I had spent the majority of time daydreaming instead of living and acting in the moment. No one was holding me back from using my gift, and no one forced me into a job. My life situation was created solely by me, and my choices. I’d never put 100 percent of my effort into doing anything I dreamed about. I could any day start with my hobbies again. I could just get up any day and declutter and decorate my beautiful house. And I could definitely start studying further for my own self esteem and satisfaction.

Once I accepted these truths, something inside me moved. I felt alive, inspired and excited by the thought of what I could achieve if I left my fantasies behind and put all of my potential to use in the real world.

I was done daydreaming. It was time to start Doing. Working towards my dream of living in the moment and being passionate enough to deliver what I have in my mind isn’t easy. Regardless of failure or success, I have to dust off and polish the skills I had left to emaciate for so long.