Ladies and gentleman, brace yourselves as you are about to read the ultimate guide to reach Goa from Kolkata in ten easy steps, exclusively from the horse’s mouth.

Step 1. – Book yourself on a one stop flight via Mumbai to Goa. Take as much luggage as possible. Trust me, taking extra luggage has a lot to do in making your travel story successful.

Step 2. – As soon as your plane touches Mumbai, shove, push & stomp on people’s feet to get ahead in the queue to get down. Ignore the air-hostess’s plea to remain seated.I repeat, get down of the aircraft as soon as possible, as if it was about to explode. If you remain in the flight for 5 more minutes, you will totally realize that this same flight can take you to your destination in another hour.

Step 3.- You may plan your travel with your close friends and ask them to meet you at Mumbai airport, who by chance will be travelling from Kolkata itself, but of course by a different airline. Make sure your flights don’t touch the same terminals. Taking an over expensive cab just to get to Terminal 2 to be together with your friend will kick start your journey to Goa.

Step 4. – Book your tickets on a train to Goa from Mumbai. There’s a train at 11 30 AM, which goes through a picturesque landscape. SKIP THAT. You don’t want to see any other beauty as you are going to GOA. There is enough scenic beauty planned in your 7 days trip.

Step 5. – Take the one at 3 PM. This way, it will be dark soon and you will have nothing else to do besides talking face to face with your family as there will be no mobile network. Seldom comes a time in today’s hectic schedule, when we all sit together and talk heart to heart.

Step 6.- Indian train journey can not be complete without a tussle between you and the Manglorian uncle, for he wants his bags to be comfortably placed first, for he wants the window seat, for he is OLD. Forget all the chivalry and push all of your 36 bags under the tier.

Step 7. – Thank yourself for creating miracle – your babies. The train journey is never complete till one of kids either steps on some uncle’s hand, falls down from the berth or goes to the loo no less than 100 times. Keep them on sugar rush throughout the journey. They should play, run around and scream till the time half of the compartment gets migraine attack. Some old lady might advice you to make them sleep. Ignore her.

Step 8. – Did I tell you that this train does not have pantry car!! Lock this in specially if you travelling with kids. You don’t want them to have decent meals everyday. Let them enjoy Vada Paav once for god’s sake.

Step 9. – The train reaches Goa at around 2: 30 AM. There will be no coach attendant at that time, so queue in your luggage at the gate. You never know when the train will align at the platform. Make your sleepy kids sit on the luggage. Refer to point no 1 which is to carry extra luggage. You can make them lie on them. 🙂

Step 10. – When you finally reach Margaon station after a 12 hour journey, look for the way out. Don’t go too far. There is a foot bridge towards the taxi stand. There’s an escalator too but that isn’t operational till 6 in the morning. Everyone travelling, pick three to four bags each, weighing according to your caliber and pull yourself up one step at a time. Its fun trust me. When you get down on the other side, you will realize that you are the back side of the taxi stand!!  See I told you its fun. Come on, now pull all your luggage around half a kilometer to get to your cab. Once you do find your cab, you will spot the taxi driver looking desperately for you facing towards exit of the station, which of course you would had come out of, if you would had decided to walk down further on the platform and not take the bridge. But, if you would had done that, would there be any story left with you to tell your grand kids.

No journey is long enough till the time you are in good company. So my friends, do try this amazing travel plan tailor made for the adventurous soul inside each one of us.